yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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