he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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