Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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