I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize