I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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