census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize