need another drink. this is the easiest way
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
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Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.