stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion