Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing