sarcasm needs its own font
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest