oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.