i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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