Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize