hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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