Just fell off a train. Bad.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down