You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.