Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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(619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64

Replies (59) Good night (914) Bad night (3599)
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(614): View more from Ohio

What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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(614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3

Replies (11) Good night (4615) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?

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(215): Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence? http://tfl.nu/hkha

Replies (23) Good night (1635) Bad night (5015) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

(580): View more from Oklahoma

Really.

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(918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b

Replies (101) Good night (10160) Bad night (2828)
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(240): View more from Maryland

He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

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(240): He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter. http://tfl.nu/87g5

Replies (53) Good night (1852) Bad night (13632) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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(402): next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/nkj3

Replies (6) Good night (4609) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Wow. Its not even 11am.

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(973): Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house. (1-973): Wow. Its not even 11am. http://tfl.nu/p3yd

Replies (3) Good night (2985) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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(203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0

Replies (3) Good night (2819) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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(401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set

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(406): View more from Montana

apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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(406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g

Replies (12) Good night (4424) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there

(905): View more from Ontario

Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties

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(519): I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there (905): Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties http://tfl.nu/lxma

Replies (4) Good night (1251) Bad night (844)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.

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(814): So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird. http://tfl.nu/r3xq

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."

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(603): Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner." http://tfl.nu/q4fy

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.

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(865): I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night. http://tfl.nu/z7o8

Replies (8) Good night (916) Bad night (234)

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