My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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