i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it's great music for shaving your balls
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
