Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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