Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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