I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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