Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
