I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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