Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
