so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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