you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
