just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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