Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
