I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
