You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
