is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My feet surprised me
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