Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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