I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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