just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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