That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
