can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
