I need to stop coming to work sober
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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