Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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