her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
