You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
