You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
