Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
