As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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