I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
