Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
