I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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