Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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