You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
