I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
