Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
