I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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