Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
