The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
