I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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