Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
