i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
