butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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