hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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