Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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