It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
