so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
