I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's official drugs can't kill me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
