Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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