totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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