Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
