Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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