Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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