A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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