My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is Oprah even human
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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