i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
