don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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